"Love [ahav] the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength." ~Deuteronomy 6:5
"...the Lord loved [ahav] you and kept the oath which He swore to your forefathers." ~Deuteronomy 7:6-8
God ahav Israel. Ahav is love in Hebrew, it means "to love, to have affection, be attached to, delight in, to breathe after." God's ahav for Israel is the essence that flowed through history, documented in the Bible, and the purpose of my trip.
Near the end of 2011, my life was in shambles. I was depleted by a semester of heavy schoolwork that was coupled by poor planning and inner warfare. Though I had received a new life as a new creation in the Lord that same year in February, and though on that day I received the baptism of the Holy Spirit and for that memorable moment, tasted the goodness of the Lord, I was spiritually immature, my flesh and old self warred with the Spirit, and I could not discern between good and evil, and I did not how to fight and win a spiritual battle. Upon a mental meltdown, I decided to "withdraw" for the semester, but lied about the reason. Soon, the Lord convicted me of my dishonesty and I was brought to the cross, kneeling and weeping. There, writhing with shame and fear, my disposition resonated with the harlot in Misty Edward's composition, ready for punishment--the stoning and the cup of Wrath. Instead, the Lord beheld my downcast head and, with His piercing and passionate gaze into my eyes, melted my heart and cast away my fears. I used to play the song many times in a day and just weep. Like the penitent protagonist in the song, I was bestowed by Jesus "a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair" (Isaiah 61:3).
At around the same time, the Lord led me to Israel. A dear sister from church invited me to intercessory prayer for Israel and after the first prayer gathering, I was confounded. Why are we praying about Israel? Why should I care? A couple of weeks passed, God answered my prayer wonderfully through a book: Why Care About Israel (Chinese online version here). Authored by Sandra Teplinsky, a Messianic Jewish believer, the book charted the course of the world's history through the lens of a loving Father's heart for Israel and revealed "how the Jewish nation is key to unleashing God's blessings in the 21st century." I felt born again. The truth about my God's heart for Israel set me free.
Reading the book, I learned about Israel--how she started her life as the "unbathed, helpless, naked and lonely" newborn that was thrown into the open field with no one's pity or compassion. God passed by her, called life into her body and "grew her like lovely plant in the field" (See Book of Ezekiel). He adorned her with jewelry and fitted a crown to her head. She was made into a queen, with the Almighty God as her doting Husband. But Israel responded by turning away from the Lover and prostituted with many other lovers that wanted something from her. Though Israel disgraced herself, God has not and will never rescind His love toward her:
"Yet I will remember the covenant I made with you in the days of your youth, and I will establish an everlasting covenant with you" (Ezekiel 16:60).
God speaks to me through his heart and promises for Israel. He also calls me his beloved, his bride. He loves me like he loves Israel. And he loves Israel with the same love he has for me. And so learning about Israel and praying for her have been about plumbing the depths of God's heart for the Jewish people, for the nations, and for me.
So this trip is about my receiving God's heart for Israel, the apple of his eye. I knew that from the beginning, but only vaguely. Until God gave me the grace of re-reading Sandra Teplinsky's book as I waited for my flight to Tel Aviv and I wept as I read about the prophet Hosea. God called him to marry an adulteress named Gomer, whom Hosea must continue to love and keep covenant with despite her unfaithfulness. Hosea's relationship with Gomer comes to represent Israel's adulterous relationship with God, and goes further to reveal God as the long-suffering husband whose heart is "pounding with anticipation for the hour of His beloved's return (Teplinsky 67):
"In that day," declares the LORD, "you will call me 'my husband': you will no longer call me 'my master.'...I will betroth you to me forever; I will betroth you in righteousness and justice, in love and compassion. I will betroth you in faithfulness, and you will acknowledge the LORD...I will plant [you] for myself in the land." (Hosea 2:16-23).
Reading further, these words hit me: "Hosea loved and therefore Hosea suffered long. Consider the honor--and the horror--to which this otherwise little-known servant was called. Could anyone besides the Lord relate to the betrayal, grief and shame Hosea endured for Israel's sake? The prophet knew the cross, in essence, long before it ever existed. Countless times Hosea must have poured out his pained soul to God who had called him to such intimate identification with His own heart. As together they communed, great grace must have flowed from heaven to earth. Between these two friends deep called unto deep (See Psalm 42:7). In Hosea, Yahweh found a man willing to share His agony as well as ecstasy. In return, I believe Hosea knew God as few others have experienced Him" (Teplinsky 68, emphasis added.)
At that moment, I knew in my heart the Lord's calling for me and for all his beloved ones. I knew that there is nothing more I wanted in this life than to share the "agony as well as ecstasy" of the Cross, to commune deeply with my Creator and Husband, and to know God as few have experienced Him. And that is through loving Israel with God's ahav. The apostle Paul wrote:
"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. I speak the truth in Christ--I am not lying, my conscience confirms it in my heart. For I could wish that I myself were cursed and cut off from Christ for the sake of my brothers, those of my own race, the people of Israel" (Romans 8:38-9:4, emphasis added).
What is that suffering passion, the ahav, Paul has for his people? I cannot understand how he could have wished to be "cursed and cut off from Christ" for the sake of his brothers, for the people of Israel. I don't even have close to the same passion to seeing my own people saved--my family and friends, the Chinese--much less for the people of Israel. Lord, I want what Paul had. I want his passion for his people and my people--for the nations. I want what Hosea had. For the grace and honor to share Your cross and carry Your burden. O Lord, I want to bless Your heart, for what little I can do for You compared to what You have done for me.
Deep calls to deep in the roar of your waterfalls; all your waves and breakers have swept over me. By day the LORD directs his love, at night his song is with me--a prayer to the God of my life. ~Psalm 42:7-8
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